


Ouroboros

by TheArrow



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Adolescence Is Difficult Enough Without All This Supernatural Shit, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, F/M, Family, Friendship, Gen, Growing Up, Higurashi Kagome Is A Badass, Life Is Difficult Enough Without All This Supernatural Shit, Post-Finale, Post-InuYasha, Sibling Bonding, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2018-04-09 14:55:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4353245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheArrow/pseuds/TheArrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ouroboros: <em>The End Is Only The Beginning</em>. After Kagome wishes the disappearance of the Shikon No Tama, she finally brings the end to its accursed existence. But there remains the issue of the well, and some of the time traveller’s habits prove to be rather difficult to break. Trapped in the present day with no knowledge of what happened to her friends, Kagome tries to be just a regular high school student, which backfires spectacularly.</p><p> </p><p>  <em>Many thanks to Ceci for giving me the motivation to write this. It means a lot.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Well Is Closed

**Author's Note:**

> "Talking"  
>  _Thinking_  
>  **Spoilers** : Basically, everything up until Chapter 557: I Want To Be With You is canon compliant. However, the three years where Kagome is stuck in the present are going to go a little differently than what is dictated in the manga. I’m a little confused by Kagome’s age in the manga at the end of the series, but I’m going to assume she’s 16 when they finally defeat Naraku and purify the Shikon No Tama. 16 years is the average age for teenagers entering high school in Japan according to Wikipédia. 
> 
> **Content Warnings** : This fanfic will be describing (though not always explicitly) mental health issues such as depression, post-traumatic symptoms disorder, loss and abuse. There will be more or less the same amount of physical/magical violence present in the manga, probably. I will try to mark anything particularly noteworthy at the beginning of each chapter, but if you catch something you personally would like to have Content Warnings for, please say so in the comments and I'll make sure to pay special attention to that.
> 
>  **Update Nov 16, 2017**  
>  Hey folks. This fanfiction is not dead. Despite my most brilliant efforts. At least, not yet. I'm going to try to stick to a sort of update schedule, hopefully managing an update a month from here on out. We'll see. I deal with a lot of mental health issues on top of having money and work issues, but I really love this fanfic and want to see it finished.  
> I still want to finish this story. I have so many cool ideas, and Kagome remains one of my favourite characters. Much love to you for reading. Please feel free to leave constructive criticism in the reviews.

 It took three days.

It reminded Kagome of the first time she returned to the present, after her very first three terrifying, _bewildering_ days in the Warring States. Back when Yura of the Demon Hair had pushed her back into the well with a sword aimed straight for her heart. Kagome will never forget that fall, seared into her memory: the damp smell of the Higurashi Shrine well house, mixed with the hot and muggy air of Tokyo beyond, which clung like a balm to her forehead and then it had all vanished, replaced with the strange smell of the centipede demon that had pulled her in, and the impossibly sweet smells of an immense forest, InuYasha’s Forest.

That had been so long ago.

And now, after three days lost inside the Shikon No Tama while Naraku’s butchered soul waited for Kagome to finally make a wish and seal her fate inside the accursed jewel forever. It was over now, as swiftly as her world had been turned upside down on her fifteenth birthday, she’d come full circle. She remembered keenly the smell of the sweat and blood soaking into her school uniform, sticking heavily to her skin, as she hiccuped and breathed in the smells of the modern age, her mother, brother and grandfather crowding around the well in relief… InuYasha releasing his hold on her, ever so softly.

Her mother had refused to release her grip on her, not for several long, long minutes, to the point where it actually was a bit painful. It surprised Kagome, a little. Her mother, who had never once complained, even when Kagome had risked her studies, her future and her life, was now clinging to her with the grip of someone who knew that Kagome might never have returned from the well. 

Three days.

But that had been before. When she’d first been released from the jewel, when she’d reappeared in the well house frightened and hurt.

Now, Kagome stood in the empty well house, a dim dusky light enveloping her from the half open door behind her and up the stairs. She hadn't bothered to turn on the small lightbulbs that dotted the interior wall. After being lost in the Shikon No Tama, twilight inside the well house didn't seem so dark.

“Midoriko,” Kagome said so faintly it came out softer than a whisper. She hesitated, a prayer that Kagome didn’t know all the words to. “You who have been stuck in the jewel for so much longer, may your soul find some measure of peace.”

Whatever composure Kagome had gathered broke, then, as she closed her eyes, and muttered, over and over: “Three days, three days...” She was running her hands along the rough, splintered wooden lip of the Bone-Eater’s Well. With no one to be strong for, the veneer of calm she had kept up since returning to her family had begun to crack.

_Souta, mother, even grandpa had not wanted me to come back in here._ _I had to tell them that I was going to pray over the well and Midoriko's soul, to ensure the evil jewel was properly released…_

Tears threatened to fall as she considered the lie she had told her family. 

_I don't know how to do any of that, but what does it matter. The jewel is gone, whether I pray over it or not. Grandpa can't tell one way or the other. I needed to make sure..._

Her mother hadn’t let Kagome out of her sight since her return, and it had been out of the question for Kagome to go to the well house. It seemed her mother had finally snapped, and was establishing boundaries Kagome hadn’t had in a year. It seemed her freedom of the past year—if you could even call it that, duty bound as it was—was over. Kagome felt guilty, lying to her grandfather like that, but she knew if she just mentioned any sort of spiritual duty he would immediately take her side. He had been the one to convince her mother and Souta to leave her be in the well house alone. 

Without Kaede or Miroku’s help, Kagome had no clue where to even begin any sort of purification ritual, though Kagome's reasons for being here were far more selfish and far less spiritual. So she stood there, feeling blank and numb and hurt, her fingertips grazing along the surface of the old well…

“Ow…” Kagome raised her fingers to her eyes, examining the splinter on her index. 

A small sacrifice, considering everything that had occurred in the last year. 

She tried to remove the splinter from her finger with her teeth. The splinter had brought Kagome’s attention back to her immediate surroundings, but even without touching the Bone-Eater’s Well she knew in her heart the truth of the well. After she'd escaped back to her time with InuYasha, she had been forced to watch the well activate, for one last time, to bring InuYasha back to Feudal Japan.

There had been many times in the past year when despair had taken hold of Kagome. When Miroku’s curse had loomed, or when it seemed Sango would never be able to save her little brother… Even, at first, when it had seemed certain that InuYasha wanted to go to hell with Kikyou. Now, at the end of it all, with the Shikon No Tama was purified, and time straightened once again, and everyone was home and safe from the jewel’s curse, it all felt like the greatest injustice of all.

_How selfish can I possibly be. Sango and Kohaku are finally reunited, Miroku is safe to live his life and have a family. Shippou will be able to look after them all, and InuYasha is alive._

Kagome realised, then, that she could not stop her hands from shaking. _My friends are alive._

Did fate care nothing for her happiness?

She had to smile, or grimace, at her own naiveté—and selfishness. If the last year had taught her anything, it was that life, in general, had absolutely no cares for one’s happiness. _Is this where I truly belong then?_

She looked at the splinter in her finger that wasn't coming out. _I'll get to go to high school. I'll be a normal girl for once. I won’t need to have any spiritual powers._

Kagome found that she was too heavy for her own legs, and against her will her knees bent as she fell to the ground. The floor was covered in a thin layer of grime and the rough earth was digging into her knees, but she tried to ignore it.

“Please give me a sign,” she begged no one, “I want to see my friends again.”

Nothing changed. The well, which had once tugged on her senses with a faint but every-present mystical appeal, had returned to being an old dry well. Kagome couldn't help her resignation. Perhaps, after all this time, the well, or fate, or whatever, was trying to remind Kagome that she was just an average schoolgirl. Her months of traveling to the past may have given her all sorts of ideas, but clearly it was over. 

Kagome blinked a few times, but couldn't keep her eyes closed. Every time she did, in the darkness of her eyelids she saw memories of what she had seen in the jewel, and before that, scenes from her year-long battle with Naraku.

With a huff, she rose to her feet. The adrenaline that had kept her going so far was completely gone now, and she was starting to feel weary—and wobbly. She would feel better after a long night's sleep. Or a year of sleep. She turned from the well and walked up the short steps to the entrance of the building. It was starting to get properly dark outside, the sun had set a while ago. Kagome shuddered as a cool wind swept through the threshold as she pushed open the door further to go outside.

Closing the door to the well house behind her, she shivered. Soon, she'd be starting high school, something that just days ago had seemed so important, but now left her with a kind of aimless bitterness.

_Goodbye, InuYasha._

 

A little later, in the dark quiet of the night, a smooth but faint light emanated gently from the well.


	2. Okaeri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okaeri: _Welcome Home_. Kagome has been home for a whole week and in Souta's professional opinion as a younger brother, she's acting _weird_.

Kagome had returned home a full whole week ago, and Souta still couldn’t quite believe she was really, _really_ here to stay. A feeling of relief had bubbled in his chest and followed him around since her return. On the surface, for the first few days, Souta had watched closely as Kagome joked around with grandpa as usual, and helped Mama with all the chores around the house, but he could tell her smiles and cheerfulness weren’t reaching her eyes. And then, that initial helpfulness had faded away, and she had started snapping and losing her temper, and though it was slightly less terrifying than the forcefully cheerful Kagome from before, it was still impossible to deal with.

At first, Souta had been worried that she was going to be run back to the well house and jump back through time to go be with InuYasha and her friends.

Well, to be honest, he still wasn’t entirely done worrying about that.

Souta was in the kitchen grabbing a snack when he heard the grumblings of his grandfather just outside. Grandpa must have been annoying Kagome, because she was pointedly snarking in response to a lecture on some bauble that he’d dug out of the storeroom. Carrying Buyou the cat under one arm, and a popsicle in his other hand, Souta peered into the little courtyard beyond the kitchen.

“Kagome!” his grandfather screeched, “You of all should know to pay attention around the Higurashi treasure collection! That was a sacred object you were manhandling!”

“Grandpa,” Kagome answered, “I wasn’t manhandling anything. Don’t you think I’d be able to sense if that treasure was actually sacred? You’re being ridiculous.”

Grandpa had a face like he’d just witnessed his favourite baseball team lose. Souta winced, the cold popsicle sticking to his tongue. His grandfather seemed to rally himself, scolding Kagome again. “This treasure is not worthless, Kagome! How dare you! Impudent child!” And with that, he stormed off, leaving Kagome standing alone in the now silent courtyard. She was looking downwards, just at an angle where Souta couldn’t quite make out the expression on her face.

Souta, still standing in the threshold of the kitchen, wondered if he dared ask how Kagome was doing. This latest interaction between Grandpa and Kagome confirmed to him something was up.

“Kagome!”

“Hey.” Kagome answered, looking at him with an unreadable expression.

“Wanna help me beat this really tough level of my videogame?”

That must not have been what Kagome was expecting to hear. She looked up, eyes wide, though Souta found the rest of her face stayed rather blank.

 _Maybe she’s really considering it?_ Souta thought to himself.

“You’ve never wanted my help with videogames before. I’m kind of terrible at them, Souta,” Kagome said evenly.

“I know,” Souta hesitated, but then had an idea, “I don’t need you to do anything, I just need your battle expertise!”

“What?” Kagome asked him, her expression finally revealing some consternation, “Battle experience?”

“Look I’m at the last part of this really hard level and I have to do everything right or I don’t get the perfect score, which I need for the perfect ending. You have the real experience, and I have the videogame experience!"

Kagome’s face went from blank to curious.

“It’ll be fun!”

For a few more moments, Kagome looked like she was about to refuse. But she probably didn’t feel like doing much of anything else, because she finally nodded. “Okay. I’ll help you... with... your videogame strategy.”

“Yay-ow ow ow!” Souta exclaimed in pain, almost dropping his popsicle on his shirt as Bouyo the cat finally lost patience about being held under the boy’s arm, and finally remembered he had claws he could use to wriggle his way free.

 

“So explain to me what’s going on?” Kagome asked quietly, sitting on a small cushion next to her brother, who was plugging in the console his mother must have straightened away when Souta wasn’t allowed playing videogames during the week when school was in session.

“Basically, there’s this, uh, let's call him a general, but he’s been defeated and his armies scattered. He needs to crawl through enemy territory, careful not to alarm the watchtowers and sound the alarm, while doing enough blackmarket trades or undercover pillaging to win back enough explosives and arms to host a coup and bomb the enemy camp singlehandedly.”

Souta was plugging in the memory card, and Kagome hadn’t answered. When he finally looked over to her, sitting back on his cushion with the videogame controller in his hands, he was surprised to see a look of horror on her face.

“This sounds super violent. Does mama know you play these games!?!?” Kagome cried out.

“Does mama know all about all the dangerous things you did in the Sengoku Jidai?” Souta retorted, before he froze and realised what he just said.

Kagome didn’t move, her face impassive, and Souta just waited, his fingers hovering over the controls as the game booted up. He could tell he was going to have to apologize.

“Kagome, I’m so-“

“Souta. Just… show me this game.” Kagome said, sitting back down on her cushion.

Souta relaxed with a huff, looking at his big sister through the corner of his eyes. She was being too agreeable, but he was glad she wasn’t bailing on him. He picked up the videogame controller again and started the game. He still had the popsicle stick in his mouth, though the icy treat was long gone. There was no trash can in the room but Souta didn’t mind having something to chew on. With a harrumph, he waited until the load screen was ready and started his game, gnawing mindlessly on the popsicle stick.

Souta hadn’t even made it past the first checkpoint in the game when he turned to Kagome, about to ask her something—anything to break the silence—but the moment he glanced at his older sister he knew from the look of her eyes that she was somewhere far away. He sighed. Was she even looking at him play?

Souta was feeling grumpy, especially since he kept messing up royally. He couldn’t help it, with Kagome staring over him blankly like that.

A few minutes of tense silence later, Souta looked over to Kagome, who was leaning on her forearms, and… fast asleep.

“Typical. Quality time with Kagome and Kagome’s passed out,” he mumbled. A resounding “GAME OVER” blasted on the small television screen in a symphony of old school arcade videogame music, causing Souta to grumble in frustration as he restarted the level again.

 

It was late Sunday night and Kagome was officially going to be a high school student the next morning. Rather than the usual butterflies in her stomach, Kagome still felt numb, like nothing wasn’t really real. She was sitting at her desk, looking at her notebooks, but nothing was quite sinking in.

_Ayumi brought me copies of last week’s notes, so I should be set. Thank goodness we share the same homeroom and share most of our classes._

Kagome had spent the better part of her weekend transcribing the notes from each individual class into each appropriate notebook. It had been boring and tedious and Kagome was pretty certain she hadn’t actually absorbed any of the knowledge within. Though, smoothing over the bent paper that had Ayumi’s handwriting on it, she had to admit she looked forward to seeing her friends and getting out the house.

She started packing her backpack.

 _Routine, routine_ , she mused to herself, _time to get back into the school girl routine._

The immense yellow backpack she’d had in middle school was gone, and for tomorrow she had an old sporty backpack Souta had forgotten about in the coat closet by the front door. Maybe she’d get a new backpack, if she asked Mama for the pocket money. She finished packing her notes and her school supplies into the unfashionable little backpack. She also had to put her new uniform together for tomorrow, especially since after several years she was finally going to be wearing the high school uniform, which was a little more complicated than her old one.

Even after she gathered her uniform for tomorrow at the foot of her bed, she kept looking through her closet. And then she paced around the room checking every corner of her desk and under her bed and on every shelf, and then back at the closet again, more and more agitated as she pushed aside hangers and clothes and objects.

Kagome inhaled deeply before she ran out of her room. She padded down the stairs quickly, her bare feet thumping against the wood — she’d taken off her socks earlier, forgetting she was barefoot in the cool hallways. “Mama!” she called out once she reached the empty kitchen.

“What on earth is the matter Kagome?” her mother appeared, tying a bathrobe around her waist. “It’s nearly midnight!”

“Mama, the sacred bow of Mount Azuza is gone!” Kagome cried, “It was in my room but it’s gone.”

“What on earth…” Her mother started to say, but trailed off as Kagome was already checking through the pantry, hastily pushing bags of rice out of the way. “Why would your bow be in the kitchen?”

“I don’t know.” Kagome cried, closing the pantry with a sharp sound. “It’s not anywhere in my room! I can’t lose that bow, mama.”

“Kagome.” Her mother, realizing her daughter was besides herself with panic, stood alongside her and placed her hands on Kagome’s shoulders. “Kagome. You need to breathe.”

“That bow is guarded by a spirit and it is tied to me. I can’t lose it.”Kagome added, her voice cracking.

“Well, the things we lose always have an odd way of coming back to us, Kagome. I’m sure we’ll find it.” Kagome looked at her mother and nodded, but wiggled out of her mother’s grasp, though she tried to breath through the tears that threatened to fall.

“Kagome, is it possible the bow vanished? If it truly is a magical object, like the well, perhaps it could sense that its purpose was finished, and that it was time for it to depart.”

Kagome looked even more stricken. “I went through hell for that bow. I didn’t even want it for myself, but it’s a powerful object. I am responsible for it. I’m bound to it.” Kagome clenched her fists, trying to hold in her tears as her mind raced. “Mama, it’s my last connection to them.”

Her mother’s face softened considerably.

“Oh Kagome, forgive me.”

Kagome’s chin snapped up as she looked right into her mother’s face. Pearls of glistening tears were clustered on her mother’s eyelashes.

“What did you do?” Kagome asked.

“I was so scared when the well disappeared and it made me realize… how dangerous your life had become.”

Kagome examined her mother’s crestfallen face. She had definitely not expected this.

“Mama, what does this have to do with my bow?”

“I am so relieved that you can’t go back anymore, Kagome. I wanted… to erase all traces of the past year. I put the bow in the locked shed behind Grandpa’s office.”

Kagome burst into tears, grabbing her mother’s hand.

“Oh sweetie I’m so sorry. I did wrap it up in a cloth before putting it in a box. It should be safe.”

“Thank goodness it’s alright.” Kagome said in a low voice.

“Forgive me, sweetheart. I really didn’t want to frighten you.”

“It’s okay mama. I’m sorry I made a mess of the pantry,” Kagome winced a little. The fear of losing the bow had made her a little over dramatic in the moment.

“Come on, Kagome, let’s go get the sacred bow from your grandfather’s office.”

Kagome nodded. “If we’re not careful grandpa will put some sort of seal on it and break the magic. Or sell it in the tourist boutique.”

“Oh dear. I didn’t think what grandpa would do when he found it. You may be right.”

Mother and daughter walked from the kitchen to the courtyard outside to retrieve Kagome’s sacred bow.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Update March 2016_ : fixed a lot of errors and typos.  
>  _Update November 2017_ : rewrote portions of this chapter and fixed verb tenses


	3. School Starts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> School Starts: It's a Monday. And it's been two weeks since class officially started except Kagome of course was absent as usual. And it's a new school, a new uniform, and there's nothing to do but go back to the grind...

 The more Kagome let her mind dwell on it, the worse she felt. She kept trying to distract herself so that her paranoia wouldn’t devour her alive. Of course, this is so much easier said than done in the hours before one’s very first day of high school— _well not actually the first day because you missed the first two weeks, can’t forget that_ —not to mention that it’s a high school she barely managed to get into in the first place, and her mother is fussing over her and Souta something awful, making her even more nervous, and then she’s thinking again of her impeding first day of school, and the cycle continues over and over.

_I think I was less apprehensive after destroying the Shikon No Tama and accidentally scattering the pieces to the four winds._

Kagome, who had prepared plain rice for herself because the bland food is as much as she can handle right now, flinched at the thought of the Shikon No Tama. She put the chopsticks down, sinking into her chair. These pieces of the past crept back into her mind much too easily. Thoughts of InuYasha, Sango, Shippou, Kaede, Miroku - it was too unbearable. Her mind kept returning to her friends incessantly, a reflex developed over the past year since she’d first fallen through. She was nervous about what was happening to them, to Miroku and Sango, and her brother, and even the little Rin, and Shippou who’d been like a little brother to her, and she hoped InuYasha was helping Kaede and not giving them all too hard a time.

Kagome had to shake herself out of this. It was torturous to keep thinking of them, now that she was stranded in the present.

“I would only use it for emergencies! And to call you or gramps after school!” her little brother was, once again, arguing with their mother about wanting a cellphone.

She looked up at her grandfather reading the paper at the breakfast table. He seemed to be ignoring Souta and his daughter-in-law’s fussing on the other side of the table. Kagome didn’t even know what was going on, her little brother’s punctuated outbursts were having a difficult time actually keeping her attention. She picked up her chopsticks and tried eating more rice.

“But even Kenji has a cell phone! Every body has one!” Souta whined.

Oh, cell phones. Kagome had to admit that she knew a little how Souta felt. All of her friends had cell phones, and couldn’t believe Kagome didn’t have one yet, and reminded her constantly to get one. Text messages were the new big thing, too - even Ayumi had starting using little emoticons in the school notes she’d prepared for Kagome. Unlike Souta, however, Kagome rather appreciated lately not being constantly prodded and poked by her three friends.

Kagome realised her mother was talking to the both of her children, but she had no idea what she had said.

“That’s enough Souta. You and Kagome should get going, or Kagome will miss her train.”

That was also true, Kagome thought as she checked a little plastic watch that rested loosely on her wrist. She had to pull her sleeve back to check the time. Despite an acute fear that she was going to accidentally show up at her new school in her old school's uniform, Kagome had somehow managed to put on the right clothes that morning. The new uniform felt stiff and constraining. She kept pulling at the tight collar and the little tie that held the top of the ensemble together. She wasn’t used to having a collar around her neck and somehow, it was making her nervous.

“Kagome, stop fiddling with your tie. I also packed your lunch, like I did for Souta. I hope you’ll remember to pack your own soon, it’s only right for a high school student to start accepting more responsibility!” Somehow, her mother always was able to make Kagome feel quite inept.

“Thank you so much mama! I really appreciate all this.” Kagome replied her mother promptly as she stood from the breakfast table. As if on cue, Souta ran out of his chair, with a mouthful full of rice, to go grab his coat and backpack from the entrance.

“Now, Kagome. You make us proud at school. Without any more distractions, we expect you to ace your term. Understood?” Her grandfather was eyeing her suspiciously from above the newspaper. Kagome fought for a brief moment to keep her composure. He was clearly still a little annoyed with her.

“Yes grandfather.” Kagome responded dutifully. She grabbed the lunch bag from her mother and decided to follow’s Souta’s cue and get out of the kitchen as quickly as possible. 

* * *

 

Souta bid her a rather heartfelt farewell at the train station.

“Have a really good day Kagome. I hope today helps you feel better! I’m sure you’ll get back in the swing at being at school full time in no time!”

The brother and sister parted ways, and she couldn’t stop smiling at his sweetness. As much as he could be an insufferable brat, he was also the best younger brother she could ever hope for.

She climbed a long set of escalators and corridors to reach the right platform to wait for the train. Kagome had the instructions for her commute written on a slip of paper her mother had slipped to her the night before, after they’d rescued her sacred bow from her grandfather’s toolshed. She grumbled reading through the instructions carefully once more. Her new commute to school was almost twice as long as the old commute.

Maybe if she was lucky she’d run into some of her friends, but without a cell phone, it would be hard to coordinate that. Kagome tried to steel herself, re-arranging her backpack on her shoulders and smoothing out the skirt of her uniform. Her backpack didn’t feel very heavy, if anything it felt too light. She’d probably forgotten a book. Or all her books.

Kagome wondered if she shouldn’t leave the station and go home. This was probably a bad idea. She could start tomorrow. She missed two weeks, why not one more day?

Looking at the instructions her mother wrote for her, she decided to stay put. She’d make it to school today. She couldn’t keep putting this off. She’d already been back for over a week but had been simply unable to pull herself together to make it to classes. So today she would make it.

She hoped.

Kagome hated feeling like this, but there wasn’t a whole lot she could do about it. The train finally pulled into the platform, and she climbed aboard. 

* * *

 

Kagome’s first morning passed in a blur. Her teachers were less than impressed by her (she suspected they had all learned from her old school teachers’ that she was prone to disappearing for weeks on end) and weren’t afraid to let show their complete lack of interest in her. Kagome had to admit that there were worst thing than being completely ignored by her teachers. Eri and Yuka shared a homeroom, while Ayumi and Kagome shared theirs. Kagome didn’t know anyone else, but noticed Ayumi seemed to be quite popular.

“Ayumi, Ayumi!” whispered one of their classmates during the last period before lunch. The professor had let them to do their work in quiet for the last portion of the class. Kagome was sitting a couple of desks behind Ayumi, and saw a young man she didn’t yet know slipping a carefully folded note to Ayumi, smiling and with a bright red blush on his face.

_He likes Ayumi!_

She felt a little silly that she knew no one’s name. She didn’t know who the boy was. She’d missed the introductory first few days, and now everybody seemed to know everybody else. But, despite feeling completely out of her element, Kagome couldn’t help but smile. Ayumi had a boy who liked her!

She was completely ignoring her coursework and chewing on the end of her pen, staring at Ayumi in front of her, who was folding the little letter back up again.

Kagome stopped chewing the end of her pen and looked back down at her classwork. She looked back up at the clock. _Did the professor say that we had to hand these in at the end of class? Shit._ She looked at her watch, and realised she only had a few minutes left. “Shit.” She muttered under her breath.

InuYasha would be proud. She was clearly picking up all his swearing habits.

She closed her notebook and placed the worksheet on top of a low pile of books and notebooks on her desk. With so few minutes left what was the point of bothering completing the work. _Oh boy. Good habit, Kagome. This is great. You just started high school and you’re already not paying attention and falling behind. Typical_.

When the bell finally rang Kagome scrambled to her feet. This particular classroom was their homeroom so she could leave her books on her desk. She wanted to rush over to Ayumi and ask her about the boy’s note, but Ayumi was already in the front of the classroom handing in her worksheet. Kagome picked up hers and walked to the front of the class to drop it at the front desk.

“Higurashi.” Kagome froze. The professor was saying her name.

Kagome, for a split second, could not react, or even look at the professor. She had hoped to hand in the worksheet quietly without attracting any attention. The professor picked up her worksheet, which was mostly blank. Kagome had to stop herself from wincing visibly. She deserved whatever the professor told her, she figured.

“Higurashi,” the professor said again, looking at her worksheet and frowning. Most of the students had left the class by now. Ayumi was gone. “I know that your performance was less than stellar at your old school.”

Kagome tried not to sigh audibly. “I have an explanation, I promise…” _It’s just an explanation that you’re never going to believe._

“Oh I can imagine what such an explanation would look like, but I don’t have to. Most of your teachers have been briefed on your case and have been shown your school file, which includes letters from your previous teachers.”

Kagome decided she didn’t know what to say to that. She’d never had a professor act like this to her. Especially not on her first day.

“So you think doing your work during school time is a waste, do you?” the professor said, holding up her mostly empty worksheet to her face.

“No!” Kagome cried out, but then felt self-conscious and embarrassed and tried again, more controlled, “I was distracted. I’m sorry.”

“There’s no need to be sorry.” The professor managed to catch Kagome’s eye, and was looking straight at her. “But I do need you to act smarter. School time is for you, not for me. This work helps you, not me.”

“I’m sorr-“ Kagome stopped herself, “This will not happen again.”

The professor, after what looked like a moment of consideration, handed her the empty worksheet. “I am giving this to you but I expect you to bring it to me tomorrow in the teacher’s lounge completed, impeccably, with no errors, first thing in the morning.”

Kagome had never been so grateful for homework in her life. “Thank you professor. I am—thank you.” Kagome held the worksheet in her hands, staring at it.

“I know you’ve been absent a lot, and it seems there have been good reasons for that, but this is a time for new beginnings. High school is very important and this is a competitive school, Higurashi. I expect you to do very well here. It is important, when you have problems, to let me know about them as soon as possible, so I can make sure to help you succeed. Understood?”

Kagome looked at her professor in a whole new light. He was being hard on her, but he wanted to help, too. He was giving her more time with the work. She tried saying something, but the words were escaping her, so she just nodded vigorously, bowing her head at the same time.

“Tomorrow morning, first thing.” The professor told her with a little smile. 

* * *

“Kagome! Kagome!” Eri called out from the table where Ayumi and Yuka were sitting, as well as a few other students. Kagome felt a wave of relief and nerves wash over her at once as she carried over her lunch and joined them. Ever since spending so much time in the past, there was something about cafeterias that made Kagome a little bit nervous.

Yuka smiled when Kagome sat down. “Finally! We were wondering what happened when Ayumi showed up by herself!”

Kagome smiled slightly. “It’s nothing. Professor Takahashi wanted to speak to me about some extra homework.”

Eri rolled her eyes. “Already? It’s only been two weeks, you didn’t miss _that_ much.”

Yuka nodded, agreeing.

“Well, it doesn’t bother me. I’m used to it.” Kagome said, “But it doesn’t matter. Ayumi! What was in that note you got during class today?”

Changing the subject was a very good idea, to Kagome’s joy. Ayumi blushed a nice pink colour, to her delight, while Yuka and Eri were immediately enthralled and jumped on the question.

“A note?” Eri asked.

“What does that mean?” Yuka added.

“Well,” Kagome started conspiratorially, “I don’t know his name, but a very cute high school freshman passed a very cute looking note to a very smiling Ayumi earlier.” Ayumi’s blush deepened. Kagome felt giddy.

Eri squealed a little. “Was it Saito? Saito Haku.”

“So, who’s Saito?” Kagome asked.

Yuka looked extremely pleased. “He’s only one of the nicest boys in our grade. And he’s very popular. And he’s really into Ayumi.”

“Oh I don’t know about that, everyone.” Ayumi protested. “I think Saito just wants help with his homework.”

Eri and Yuka shook their heads, but Kagome, to her own surprise, was the one contradicting Ayumi.

“I saw his smile when you opened the note. I think he likes you. Don’t doubt that, Ayumi!” 

Ayumi kept shaking her head. Eri spoke up: “We should trust Kagome on that one. After so many years being chased by both Houjo and InuYasha, she knows more about boys than we do.”

Kagome’s good mood evaporated instantaneously.

Yuka sighed, opening her yogurt cup, “I wish boys chased me.”

* * *

Last period of a Monday, by some bizarre irony, was physical education for their homeroom. Kagome felt it was a cruel and unusual punishment that they had to run laps on the outdoor track. At least Ayumi was there, though she was up ahead and talking to someone else. High school physical education was not actually any different than in middle school. Kagome’s legs were sore, but that was probably because she had been really inactive in the past week after… well, after everything.

Kagome stopped, though she had not finished her ten laps, to catch her breath. She had a pain in her side, though it was just a mild cramp from running. She leaned against the metal fence that surrounded this side of the outdoor track, breathing heavily. Most of her class kept running ahead.

 _Why does the last period of Monday have to be P.E.? I don’t wanna get on the train all sweaty, and I didn’t bring a towel to use the showers…_ Kagome was breathing heavily, and turned to face the fence. Through the chain weave of the metal fence she saw something she hadn’t noticed before, despite running by it a few times. It looked like Kyudo range.

Kagome decided to forget about the run, and instead walked to the edge of the fence and then around it, just a ways down the small patch of dirt along some wooden stairs. The high school had a massive physical education setup behind the school and down the hill. Kagome had never even heard of a school with an archery team, but now that she thought of it it made sense. It was a fairly popular modern martial art, like kendo, and unlike kendo, a lot of women also practice the sport. The school was very competitive academically—made sense they would invest in so much infrastructure for sports.

Kagome’s heart was thundering in her chest as she peered into the empty kyudo range. Someone, possibly the coach, was arranging the targets. There was probably a practice after school today. Maybe she could join. She probably shouldn’t use her sacred bow, so her aim would probably really suffer, but they would probably let her join, right?

“What are you doing here?”

Kagome jumped right out of her skin. The young man who had been straightening out the targets was staring at her. He looked too young to be a teacher or a coach, and she figured him to be a slightly older student. She was suddenly really conscious of her gym uniform, which was baring of so much of her skin. The young man was wearing a fairly traditional but plain archery outfit. It reminded Kagome of the kind of garb she saw in the Sengoku Jidai.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in class?”

Kagome winced. “Oh shit.” Then she winced again, realizing she was swearing out loud now. After an extremely awkward few moments, she realised she should probably say something to the boy looking down at her. “I didn’t realize this school had an archery club.”

“It’s a team, not a club. We’re very competitive in the high school circuit. And tryouts were last week. And this range is for the team only.” He seemed to be quite happy to list all the reasons why she shouldn’t be here. He was looking at the colour of her gym uniform. At this school, every grade wore a different coloured gym uniform. “So you don’t feel too bad, the team also doesn’t usually accept first-year students,” he added for good measure. Kagome’s face must have betrayed her when he revealed that she was too late for tryouts. The boy rolled his eyes at her.

“Look, I’m the team captain. If you really want to try out and you’ve got enough experience, you need talk to the coach. But what happened? You missed the announcement?”

He looked at her expectantly. Kagome bowed slightly, sweat pearling on her forehead. “Thank you for telling me. I should get back to class.”

The archery team captain nodded. “Yeah, you should.”

“Thanks again.” Kagome added one last time, fleeing the range. She felt intensely determined to speak to the coach. Standing in that range had felt, well, not familiar, exactly. But it had felt like something she could do. Something she should do. That was a very different feeling from the emotional rollercoaster that had been the last few weeks, and she’d been starting to wonder when she’d ever stop feeling so crushed by everything that had happened.

As Kagome climbed the hill quickly, hoping her absence had not been noticed, the idea of kyudo became more and more attractive. It was the perfect activity that combined her (admittedly, feudal-era) priestess skills with the expectations of her modern-day high school. She hoped this school was like her middle school and allowed students to switch general physical education classes out for participation on a school team. She would love to have a few free periods during the week to use for homework.

Kagome rejoined her classmates just in time for the class to end, and was relieved the gym teacher didn’t seem to notice her at all.


	4. Four Arrows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four Arrows: Kagome tracks down the high school archery coach.

“Kagome,” Souta asked, poking his head into her room without knocking as usual, “Are you in here?”

His sister had their mother’s laptop sitting open on her slightly disorganized desk. She was surfing the internet, her back was to the door. From where he was standing, Souta couldn’t see the contents of the screen.

“Kagome?” Souta spoke again, not quite closing her door behind him as he entered her room. 

She snapped to attention then, her shoulders straightening, though she didn't turn to face him completely. “Oh, hey Souta. Everything okay?”

“Yep,” replied her little brother. He entered her room, knowing that if he didn’t tread cautiously Kagome might get mad at him and kick him out, as older sisters so often do. “What are you up to?”

She didn't answer him, absorbed as she was by the computer screen.  

As he got closer, he was rather surprised by what he saw. 

"You're watching kyudo videos!" 

Kagome whirled around at that, swerving in her desk chair on wheels, which creaked against the floor.  

"Shhh," she shushed him, a bit of a wild look in her eye, and continued with a whisper: "I don't want mama to hear us.” 

“Why?” Souta whispered back, “What's going on?” 

Kagome turned back to the computer screen, rolling her desk chair back.  

"I want to join the kyudo team at school, but I've never actually participated in a kyudo competition," she told him. 

Souta frowned, but kept his voice low. "But why do you need to watch videos? Aren't you a demon hunter? You’ve had lots of archery practice!" 

"That's different," Kagome sighed, looking back at her little brother with a tired look in her eye. "Even the bow is different."  

"Oh." Souta answered. "But surely hitting a stationary target is much easier than hunting demons?" 

"I suppose you're right," Kagome nodded slowly, "But I want to make the team, and they never take first year students. I really need to show them I have what it takes." 

Souta sat on Kagome's brightly coloured bed. He had always liked Kagome's room. It was just slightly bigger than his, with a bigger window and a better view of the shrine's sacred tree.   

"I'm just nervous, Souta, it's not a big deal." Kagome was clicking through the website to load another video. Souta noticed the videos were all muted, and Kagome had also turned off the sound on the computer. 

"Why don't you want mama to hear us? Did you take her work computer without asking?" Souta asked, a bit conspiratorially.

Kagome smiled at him, and he couldn't help how worried he was by the fact that her smile wasn't reaching her eyes at all. "Mama... She doesn't want me to think about the past anymore. I don't think she would approve of me trying out for kyudo competition." 

"Would you be part of a team?" Souta asked. 

“If they let me in. They probably won't, though, which is another reason I don't want to worry mama and grandpa. Not unless I actually get in." Kagome gave her attention back to the computer screen, scrolling up and down the webpage idly. “Oh, look. See this video? They're using an asymmetrical bow that reminds me of the ones they made in Kaede's village..." 

Souta nodded, so Kagome unplugged the laptop and brought it onto her bed where she settled next to her brother on the covers. She clicked “play” and both siblings watched the video from the machine on Kagome’s lap.

"Those are so tall!" Souta exclaimed, forgetting about keeping his voice down. "Ugh. Those bows are taller than me!" 

Kagome smiled, clicking to the next video. "Definitely taller than you, short stuff."  

"Hey!" Souta grumbled, "I'm still growing…”  

A mischievous gleam had entered Kagome's eye, though she kept her smile as sweet as possible: "I suppose we'll just have to wait and see!"  

"You're so obnoxious!" Souta huffed, rolling his eyes and falling back onto the bed so he was lying on his back, his legs dangling off the edge of the Western-style bed. 

"Oh Souta I'm teasing you. You have plenty of time yet to get nice and tall.” 

"Think so?" He mumbled, looking up at the ceiling. 

"Of course! But just remember, as the eldest I'll always be taller than you!" 

Souta snorted. "I think I'll definitely be taller than you, and then you won't be able to boss me around anymore!" 

Kagome closed their mother's laptop. "You just keep dreaming big, Souta." 

The siblings both sighed in unison and fell into companionable silence, Kagome with the computer lying dormant on her lap, and Souta still staring up at the ceiling. It took Kagome a few moments to realize they were both zoning out.

"Okay, Souta, time for bed for you. Out and out you go!" ordered Kagome, glancing at the clock on her desk and standing up off her bed. "We both gotta get up early tomorrow."  

“Tryouts tomorrow, right?”  

“Huh?” 

"The kyudo team!” 

"Oh, right," Kagome nodded, stifling a yawn. "Well, I still have to convince the coach to let me try out late since I missed tryouts last week, but I will try." 

"I think it would be cool," Souta said in a sage voice, walking towards her bedroom door, "you'll want to stay in practice since you're here now."  

Kagome looked thoughtful at his words. 

"I was never very good, even with my sacred bow helping me. I think I would like to master kyudo and finally be really good at something." Kagome was putting away the laptop on her desk, and to Souta’s ears it seemed she was mostly speaking to herself. "Good night Souta. Sleep well."

As she turned to face him, Souta smiled and bid her good night. "Sleep well Kagome!" 

Kagome watched him close the door to her room, an unreadable expression on her face. 

 

There was something about getting back into the school routine that felt completely awful. Perhaps because Kagome kept vacillating between feeling extremely bored, and then feeling extremely stressed out—she was beginning to wonder when she would ever wake up in the morning without feeling like the sky was about to fall on her head. 

During a short break between two periods she’d had that morning, she’d gone to seek out the kyudo coach. He was a stern fellow with white hair and the beginnings of a noteworthy salt-and-pepper-grey beard, and he was called Sato. He didn’t seem too pleased to be bothered by Kagome when she knocked on the door of the teacher’s lounge (he also taught advanced calculus) but she wasn’t hesitant to drop the name of her grandfather’s shrine in order to explain why she belonged to no dojos currently, but still knew archery basics. 

“A shrine girl, huh.” Sato spoke with an odd emphasis in his words, his voice like gravel, “You’re not one of those pandering zen types who does big ceremonial events for American tourists with archery demonstrations, are you?” 

Kagome blanked, “What?”

“Of course, no disrespect to your family’s shrine,” he added, as an afterthought.

Kagome tried not to let her face betray her own consternation, but this short exchange was quickly rising to the top of the list of the strangest conversations she’d ever had, and this was coming from a girl who had time travel on her resume. 

“I’ve been practicing with ceremonial bows, saigu-yumi, for, umm, many years now.” Kagome decided to skirt around the odd … phrase … statement … question Sato had made. “I would like an opportunity to keep learning about archery and take my knowledge further. I have been told my skills are adequate.”

“Adequate, huh? Well, student, what’s you’re name again?"

“Higurashi Kagome."

“Well, Higurashi, adequate isn’t what I’m looking for. I’ve built a team that takes us to nationals every year."

Kagome felt embarrassed. She probably shouldn’t have bothered with any of this. This conversation had gone from awkward to uncomfortable way too fast. 

After a moment of consideration, he continued speaking. “It’s a big commitment. If I give you a break, you need to know that I’m demanding, and I don’t tolerate absences or lateness or excuses. You have to be committed. Can you do that?” 

Kagome looked up at the coach. He, to be sure, didn’t look very friendly.

“Yes sir. I can do that." _I hope._

“Then come to practice this afternoon. You’ll try out in front of the team, and we’ll see just how “adequate” you are.” 

Sato took his leave then, turning around on his heels and returning to the teachers’ lounge, leaving Kagome at the door. She let out a shaky breath just as the bell rang. 

 

“Asking to join the kyudo club was a _huge_ mistake.” Kagome was groaning with her forehead laying flat on the surface of cafeteria table. Eri and Yuka were sitting on either side of her, patting her back sympathetically. Ayumi sat across from the three of them, eating her lunch in complete unbothered serenity.

“Honestly I didn’t even know you knew how to use a bow,” Yuka wondered aloud. “Have you been doing it since you were a kid?”

Eri nodded. “You never talk about your childhood at the shrine much.”

Ayumi agreed.“Or anything really about the Higurashi shrine.”

Yuka added: “Or anything really about you.”

Kagome groaned into the cafeteria table.

The three friends shared a smile. Kagome had been stressed out since school started, but this was the first time in recent memory that they were seeing her this way— showing an emotion other than catatonia. Even though Kagome was being a little dramatic about her impending tryout, this was much more like the Kagome they knew so well.

“Why is he making me try out in front of the entire team?” Kagome whined, looking up from the table.

“I’ve heard Sato is a sadistic calculus teacher,” Eri commiserated with an exaggerated shiver.

Ayumi spoke up next: “I’m really not surprised. High school sports teams are all about hazing and shame.”

Kagome groaned again.

Yuka wondered aloud: “Do you even have a kyudo outfit?”

Kagome shook her head. “I don’t. I guess I’ll have to buy one.”

Ayumi smiled: “I think it’s cool. I really hope you make it onto the team!” 

Kagome gave Ayumi a weak smile gratitude, though she still felt (and looked) super nauseous.

Yuka opened her strawberry juice box, “I wonder if there are any cute boys who do kyudo.”

“I met the team captain,” Kagome admitted.

Eri perked up: “Was he cute?”

Kagome shook her head, trying to halt Eri’s train of thought before it got too far: “No, no, not like that. I think he’s a senior.”

“Good for you Kagome! Setting your sights high!” Yuka chirped.

“Yuka please don’t be gross. Besides, he was kind of mean.” Kagome looked at the lunch which her mother had packed for her and which she hadn’t yet touched. Her stomach was so unsettled.

With another groan, Kagome lied her forehead against the cafeteria table again.

“Oh Kagome, it’s going to be all right!” Yuka said, putting her hand on Kagome’s shoulder.

Kagome stretched and sat back upright. “I’m going to go put my lunch back in my locker. Really not feeling like … food … right now.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Ayumi asked, concerned.

“No, thanks Ayumi.” Kagome stood up. “I think I need a few moments of mournful solitude to deal with these jitters.”

Kagome bid her three friends goodbye and left. Ayumi, Eri and Yuka sat in silence, sharing significant looks between each other.

“I’m concerned,” Ayumi finally spoke up, breaking the meaningful silence.

Yuka, chewing on her juice box straw, nodded in agreement. “Do you think this has something to do with InuYasha?”

“She refuses to talk about him.” Eri added, in a quiet tone that was rather uncharacteristic, “She sort of shuts down when we even mention him, or just completely ignores us.”

“Yeah, she’s definitely hurting. A lot.” Yuka said.

“I wish she trusted us more with this stuff.” Ayumi sighed, “I don’t know if this has only to do with InuYasha. But something’s up. Something is definitely up.”

 

After the last bell of the day rang, announcing the end of school, Kagome arrived at the kyudo training hall, her stomach tangled in knots and her fingers shaking. She was not wearing her gym uniform but her regular uniform, but in a way it suited her better. The kyudo uniforms worn by the team were old fashioned, and rather elegant. Kagome never really felt comfortable in elegant things. It always felt like wearing a costume. It didn’t fit. And she would have felt much too self-conscious wearing the skimpy gym uniform mandated by the school around the other members of the kyudo team. She’d also spent a lot of time in the Sengoku Jidai in her old middle school uniform, so she was actually quite used to using a bow in these kinds of clothes.

There were fourteen people on the team, she counted as she stood awkwardly inside the training area, waiting for the coach to arrive. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she was waiting in the wrong place and wasn’t supposed to be there. They were all dressed in their archery outfits, even wearing special gloves, with theirs bows in their hands. Most were talking amongst themselves. A few had noticed her and Kagome tried her best to ignore their stares. The coach had not arrived, but the team captain she had met on the first day of classes was. His kyudo clothes were dark blue and he looked as forbidding as he did on her first day when she’d walked into the near-empty dojo.

Feeling awkward and out of place, she decided to walk up to him. Bowing, as she tended to do when her nerves got the better of her, she spoke:

“My name is Higurashi Kagome and coach Sato told me that I could present myself today for tryouts.”

The team captain stared down at her. She wasn’t exactly short for her age, but most of the students here in the dojo were older, and taller, than she was. It was unnerving. “Do you have your clothes?” he asked her.

“No,” Kagome answered, looking down.

“Do you have your own bow?” He raised his left eyebrow as he spoke.

 _Does it look like I brought my own bow?_ Kagome thought, irritated but trying not to let it show. “No. I usually practice with a ceremonial bow at my family shrine, but I did not bring it with me today.”

The kyudo teammates started murmuring amongst themselves at her response.

“Fine,” said the team captain, “Sakura, go get a bow and chest guard from the back-up supply.”

“And arrows, Hyosuke?”

The team captain—Hyosuke—gave Kagome a critical look. “You’ve done traditional archery before. At a shrine?”

“Yes.”

“So you’ve actually shot with arrows before.”

Kagome thought this must be a trick question. Was this part of the hazing that Ayumi had worried about? She was suddenly well-aware that almost everybody in the training area was listening into their conversation.

“Of course, as I said, I’ve used a bow before.”

Hyosuke nodded to Sakura, mentioning: “Bring us four arrows.”

 _Shit… I’m really doing this_.

Coach Sato showed up just as Sakura returned from the back room with a tall bow, some arrows, and a chest plate. Kagome wondered if she was going to throw up from the nerves that had kept building all day. What was worse is that everybody was staring at her pointedly, half-curious and half-bored. The coach nodded to Hyosuke, and addressed them all.

“So we’ve got someone here who missed the announcement for tryouts last week, and who wanted the opportunity to show us her adequate knowledge of the bow.” Sato announced to the gathered students. Someone audibly snickered, but Kagome didn’t catch who it was.

_Ugh. Real mature, you ass._

Sometimes Kagome thought the voice in her head sounded a little like InuYasha’s.

Sakura approached her with the gear. Because she was still in her uniform she decided to take off her school blazer so that she could extend her arms freely, and Sakura helped her put the chest guard over her white collared shirt. The chest guard felt heavy against her thick long-sleeved blouse, and Kagome realised she was perspiring quite a bit. She hoped Sakura couldn’t tell.

“We don’t have any extra gloves, unfortunately.” Sakura told her in a hushed tone after she finished placing the chest guard and handed Kagome the bow, and a single arrow to begin with.

“Are you ready?” the coach asked her. “You’ll get to shoot four arrows at a target. If it is _satisfactory_ ,” he punctuated his words as if he thought this was all rather entertaining, “I will let you onto the team.”

Kagome nodded, and went to stand at the edge of the wooden platform, just where the range started. There were eight long lanes and eight targets currently set up. The sand between the wooden platform and the targets had recently been raked into a circular design with care.

She closed her eyes, and took in a deep, unsteady breath. She’d looked up the basics of makiwara—a type of kyudo kata—last night and though she hadn’t had the chance to practice yet, she felt like she’d memorized the steps well enough from the video to try the stance. It wasn’t like in the Sengoku Jidai. Form had of course mattered—if your elbow was out of place, the arrow wouldn’t go far—but from what she’d researched online, kyudo was much more concerned with a specific pattern of movements before the arrow was even launched.

With a few wooden movements, Kagome drew the bow into position, pulled back the arrow, and let go.

The arrow curved in its trajectory much too far to the right, and hit the edge of the target.

“Shit!” Kagome exclaimed despite herself.

A rumble of laughter ran through the assembled team members. Kagome refused to look at Hyosuke or the coach, or at the snickering students, but turned to Sakura who stood slightly behind her with the other three arrows.

Sakura handed her an arrow, a look of sympathy that bordered on pity on her face. The members of the team had started speaking to each other, and Kagome made a point to ignore what they were saying.

 _Change of plans. I’m going to use this bow like I always use my bow,_ Kagome thought, her face flushing bright red in embarrassment. Getting the bow into position, and drawing back the arrow, Kagome breathed in deeply. She’d done this more than a thousand times, and knew this by heart.

She let the arrow fly.

Dead centre of the target.

The kyudo team quieted down. Kagome couldn’t help the smile on her face. She turned to Sakura, her hand outstretched and ready for the next arrow.

The third arrow struck true, as did the fourth arrow. Her form was probably nothing to write home about, but she hit her targets flawlessly, three arrows crowding the centre of the target. She turned back to the coach Sato, Hyosuke, and the rest of the team. She was smiling a smile that shone as brilliantly as she felt, as she _finally_ felt.

“Thank you coach Sato for giving me the opportunity to try out.” She decided to add a little bow, though she could not have stopped smiling for anything in the world.

Hyosuke was giving her a strange look. Coach Sato laughed, a deep rumbled laughter that came from his belly, and looked at her.

“That was a very interesting demonstration, shrine girl,” he eventually told her.

 _Does he even remember my name?_ Kagome wondered.

“All right, everyone, show’s over. Start working on the kata I showed you yesterday. Karabiki only!” Coach Sato barked to the team, who formed into smaller groups to train. He turned to Kagome and Hyosuke, who hadn’t moved from their respective places on deck.

“Hyosuke, it seems shrine girl here is self taught. I would like you to spend the rest of the week teaching her the basics of karabiki. And get her size so we can order her a kyudo uniform.”

“Of course, coach Sato.”

While Sato walked off to go talk to other team members, Hyosuke turned to face Kagome.

“Congratulations Higurashi,” he said evenly, “You just made the team.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Update November 2017_ : rewrote portions of this chapter and fixed verb tenses


	5. 切ない

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kagome takes an interest in the Higurashi shrine, and both Souta and Kagome discover that their grandfather is not doing as well, health-wise, as they thought.

The tall grasses danced all around her. Damp, hot earth, and far-off storm clouds, and the aroma of hay and wild flowers floated alla round her in on the breeze. Best of all, when she looked up, it was like the dusky heavens themselves were holding concert—she could just distinguish the planet Venus in a sky set ablaze by the setting sun—she opened her arms wide, and took in a deep, grateful breath.

“What a beautiful evening!” she called out, smiling, the breeze was in her hair, catching at the hem of her skirt. Down the hill, she saw the rooftops of the village. Kagome walked up the soft grassy slope, towards the now darkening wood. Under the cover of the forest, the orange light of the setting sun had almost completely dissipated and blue and grey shadows spread over every tree and rock. She looked behind her at the slope and the village and the far horizon, as the light began eclipsing itself across the horizon, and she saw a silhouette walking up the hill towards her.

“Kagome!”

Instead of answering the approaching figure, she turned her back to the sloping grass and the village, and walked into the trees just beyond. The light was less clear here, and trying to differentiate between the shadows dancing underneath the canopy of leaves was difficult. She could hear crickets, and rustling, and an ever-familiar wind moving through the woods.

“Kagome, where are you?”

“I’m here,” she answered back softly, looking over her shoulder, “I’m right he—”

 

Kagome woke up with a start. She rolled over to look at her silent alarm clock, which displayed in its cheerful face that it was eight in the morning. On a Saturday. Her limbs like molasses, she tried pulling herself together, stretching out her arms and legs. She didn’t feel rested, but she wasn’t sleepy enough to drift back to sleep. 

Blinking the lingering grogginess from her eyes, she stared up at her familiar ceiling. She’d spent so much of her life in this bedroom, countless nights staring at the ceiling right before bed or just before getting out in the morning. But that was before this last year… Feeling moody, and a little reminiscent, but not quite brave enough to get out from under the covers, Kagome turned on her side in order to stare out the window. She didn’t get any direct morning sunlight in her room, but from her bed she could still see their inviting glimmer outside. From this angle she could see the diffuse light bouncing off the leaves swaying on the taller branches of the sacred tree Goshinboku.

After staring out her window for a long while, Kagome brought her gaze down to her arm, to her right palm. Faint callouses had developed along her fingers from drawing the heavy bowstrings during practice at the archery practice range at school, but she’d suffered worse. She tried stretching her arm again, but it didn’t seem to help with the stiffness.

She just never seemed to wake up on the right side of the bed, her arms aching, her heart heavy.

Knowing that staying in bed wasn’t going to help alleviate her mood, Kagome slipped out from under her blankets, regretfully leaving the warmth of the covers.

After fetching the slippers that she’d haphazardly kicked under her bed the night before, Kagome remembered to stretch out her arms and shoulders briefly before she left her room and padded down the stairs. It wasn’t usually so quiet in the house this early in the morning, but Souta was now of that age where he was starting to sleep for ridiculously long periods of time (the joy of oncoming adolescence) and as for Kagome’s mother and grandfather, perhaps they had decided to stay in bed as well this morning.

Kagome was rather grateful for the quiet. She entered the kitchen, and was taken aback by the still figure of her mother sitting at the kitchen table, staring into a cold and long-forgotten cup of tea.

Her mother hadn’t yet noticed her presence. Kagome stood there awkwardly, contemplating the scene, wondering what was going on. Something was off.

“Mama?” Kagome asked, trepidation sinking under her skin.

Her mother stirred at Kagome’s voice and looked in her direction with a short nod: “Ah, sweetie. You’re awake. Good.”

Kagome was able to see her face properly then. Her mother was exhausted. Her face gaunt in the morning light, her hair an unkempt mess. Kagome also realised that her mother was wearing the same clothes she’d been wearing yesterday.

Kagome sat at the table next to her mother. She reached for one of her mother’s hand, carefully pulling it off of the cold tea cup to hold it in hers, and asked: “Mama, what happened?”

“It’s just been a long week. I’m grateful for Saturday.”

Kagome’s heart sunk to the base of her stomach. Her mother didn’t sound fine. She didn’t know what to say to the grave look that passed over her mother’s face.

“Kagome, may I ask you a favour?” 

“Yes mama?”

“This week, I’m going to need you to look after Souta, especially after school.”

“Of course,” Kagome nodded, rising from her seat to take the now empty tea kettle off the stove. She went to the sink to fill it with enough water to refill her mother’s tea and make a new pot of tea for herself, “Anything special happening this week?” Kagome tried to keep her voice light.

“Your grandfather is going to be temporarily closing the shrine this week, because he’s got to go into the hospital for a procedure on Monday. I’m going to be working a few extra nights, as well as making sure grandpa is getting taken care of properly.”

Kagome nearly dropped the kettle into the sink, the tap still running.

“What’s going on with grandpa?”

Kagome’s mother sighed.

“The surgery is exploratory, but it seems from the preliminary scans there’s a mass in his lungs. Unfortunately at his age even minor surgery carries terrible risks, but he’s adamant about going ahead with this foolishness.”

Kagome turned off the tap water and put the kettle on the stove. She flicked on the gas range, trying to hold back her tears but they crept into the corners of her eyes regardless. She was grateful her mother could not see her face from this angle.

“Kagome,” Mrs Higurashi turned to her daughter, “Can I count on you to pick up Souta right after school, and bring him straight here? It should just be for this week, but if we’re going to make ends meet despite closing the shrine, I’ll need to be working more.” 

“You can count on me. I’ll make sure Souta gets home safe.”

“Thank you Kagome. I am so glad you’re home now. It’s such a relief, believe me.”

The kettle whistled, filling the otherwise deafening silence between daughter and mother. Kagome picked up her mother’s tea cup to refill it.

“Does Souta know?” Kagome asked quietly.

“Not yet. I’ll tell him when he wakes up and comes downstairs.”

“It’s easy to forget that this is actually a working shrine, and not just grandpa’s hobby,” Kagome remarked. “I suppose it’s because I’m either at school all day or was in the feudal era for so long, but I forgot that grandfather actually has spiritual duties here.”

Kagome’s mother smiled. “It’s not your fault. Your father was always much more traditionally minded than I was. It was my decision to let Souta and you have a carefree childhood. I never required either of you to work at the shrine in your free time, unless grandfather really needed help.”

Kagome nodded. “And honestly I think I was mostly a bother whenever that happened, always making fun of grandpa’s superstitions.”

Mrs Higurashi nodded gratefully as Kagome handed her some fresh tea. “We’ll have to be very kind and respectful towards grandfather, especially now.”

Kagome sighed, holding her own tea cup close. “Knowing grandpa, he’s going to make that especially difficult this week.”

Kagome’s mother took a sip of her tea, and answered with a wry but true smile. “Oh I’m sure we can count on that.”

 

After Kagome made herself some breakfast, and her mother had returned to bed for a few extra hours of rest, she decided to walk out onto the shrine grounds. For as long as her mother and her brother and herself had lived on the shrine grounds, her grandfather had been there, and it was just weird to contemplate her grandfather not being here anymore. Though Kagome still had impressionistic memories of her father, her childhood memories from before they’d moved to the shrine had faded with age. She’d always considered this shrine to be her childhood home.

Without quite realising it, her feet had carried her to the sacred god tree that stood proudly over the shrine. Kagome huffed a little, staring at the markings on the tree trunk where InuYasha had once been sealed. Though the markings had faded and blended seamlessly into the uneven pattern of tree bark, Kagome always knew exactly where the scar in the wood was. 

She didn’t want to think about what would happen to the shrine if something happened to her grandfather. She wasn’t in the habit of praying very often, though her experiences in the feudal era had changed her views considerably on the subject of spirituality in general, but in that moment she thought a quick prayer to the tree couldn’t possibly hurt.

_Please, I’m not ready to say goodbye to my grandfather. I just got back, and I more time with him._

She spent a few moments in silence under the tree, until restlessness pushed her again to keep walking along the shrine grounds. She wondered if she shouldn’t go back to her room and get back to studying, but instead she walked to the small building near the main house, her grandfather’s office.

The office was dusty and when she flicked the switch by the entrance, the lights flickered loudly, buzzing as they lit up the small room. Every possible surface and shelf in the room was covered in scrolls, books, notebooks, and letters, and there were countless boxes and odd knick-knacks thrown about. Even an old dresser which had been repurposed into a filing cabinet had drawers that could not close since they overflowing with paper.

Kagome huffed. “What a mess.”

Stretching her arms a little, and rolling up her sleeves, Kagome decided that today, she would tidy her grandfather’s office.

 

It was nearly evening when Souta checked on Kagome in their grandfather’s office. His sister had found an old radio forgotten under grandpa’s desk, and she had been playing American rock music loudly all day from inside their grandfather’s office.

“Kagome?” he called out as he stood in the doorway, a little weary of the loud, static-filled music, “What are you doing?”

Souta looked into the poorly-lit office, which frankly looked like a war zone. Kagome was wearing a white cloth mask over her mouth and nose, and was wearing an apron over her rolled up jeans and shirt. A broom in her hands, she was standing precariously on their grandfather’s desk chair, and was rigorously dusting the ceiling fan above the desk, which had accumulated years of grime.

“I’m cleaning!” Kagome called out over the music, her voice muffled by her dust mask. 

“You’ve been in here all day. This place looks so much worse compared to before.” Souta said, covering his nose and mouth with his sleeve as dust fell everywhere off the ceiling fan.

“I don’t think gramps has cleaned in here in a decade,” Kagome huffed, “At first I was only going to organize everything and put it away, but then about halfway through the day I realised it would be impossible with all this dust and dirt everywhere.”

Souta coughed a little. Backing away from the dust pouring out from the ceiling, he noticed that on top of their grandfather’s desk were several plastic-wrapped piles of clothing.

“What’s all this?” Souta asked, picking up the wrapped packages.

Kagome climbed off their grandfather’s chair and turned down the volume of the radio, before turning round to face her brother, a funny look in her eye as she pulled off her dust mask.

“I’m not totally sure. I think they’re traditional shrine clothes. I am going to wash them tonight—I hope they’ll do okay in the washing machine.”

“Are they grandpa’s?”

“I guess so. They’ve been packed away for so long.”

“Yikes. Even the plastic is slimy.” Souta was wiping his hands on his pants. “There’s a lot of junk in here.”

Kagome nodded, leaning against their grandfather’s desk and taking a swig out of a bottle of water she’d brought in earlier. “No kidding. I admit, one of the reasons it’s taken me this long to get to the dusting is because I spent a couple of hours going through the shrine records, which were completely disorganized and strewn about everywhere, and I ended up reading most of them.”

“Oh?” Souta asked, “That sounds really boring.”

“It’s no worse than my homework, really. At least with the shrine, it’s something that I actually care about. It’s our home.”

“True,” Souta admitted. There was a brief pause between the siblings, who stood in the chaotic office, the fuzzy grumblings of the radio still playing in the background.

“What do you think is going to happen to grandfather?”

“I don’t know Souta.”

“Mama said he’d be just fine, but I don’t think she means it.”

“I think she does. I think she’s just tired. You know how grandpa is, he can be a real pain in the butt once his mind is made up.”

Souta nodded.

“Say, Kagome,” he spoke up, just remembering, “how are you going to come get me after school if you’re in kyudo practice?”

“Oh no,” Kagome groaned, “I completely forgot about that.”

“I don’t know why I can’t just come home on my own, it’s not like I don’t go to school every day by myself,” Souta grumbled.

“I think mama is more worried about you coming home to an empty house. She won’t be able to make sure you come home safely.”

“It’s stupid,” he grumbled.

“Well, that may be so,” Kagome acknowledged, “But I made a promise to mama, so we have to figure something out. Coach won’t let me miss practice.”

“Oh?”

“I’ve only been to a few practices, but I’m the least experienced on the team and coach Sato is very strict about missed days.”

“Is it fun, at least?”

“Eh,” Kagome made a grimace, as she picked up the broom and started sweeping dust from the floor into a small pile, “I probably won’t be allowed to shoot real arrows for a while yet, and it’s mostly memorization of postures and formations. It’s not too bad, but it’s a bit stressful.”

Kagome stopped sweeping, and looked up at her little brother. “Would you be okay coming to my school after you’re done with classes? That way I can keep my promise to mama? Then we can come home together?”

Souta shrugged, “I guess. But you’re really not going to tell mama and grandpa that you’re on the kyudo team? I really don’t think they’ll get mad.”

Kagome shook her head. “I’ll tell them soon, but not right now. Not right before grandpa’s operation. I don’t want to risk any more arguments or unease.”

“If you say so.” Souta said skeptically, before relenting. “Fine, I’ll come meet you after school.”

“Thanks, Souta.”

Souta left his sister alone in their grandfather’s office and ran back to the house. Kagome turned the volume dial on the old radio back up, and re-adjusted the cloth mask over her face.

Her gaze, however, lingered on the plastic-wrapped clothes she’d found in an old box of financial records, that same pile of clothes which Souta had pointed out earlier. There was a brown kimono with a simple geometric pattern that had reminded her strongly of her own father. She opened the plastic, and took out the thick robes, and was startled a little when she saw, at the bottom of the plastic, all too familiar red and white clothes which had been folded carefully many years ago, and forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Update November 2017_ : rewrote portions of this chapter and fixed verb tenses
> 
>  **Update** : I've made a tumblr for posting updates and keeping people informed on where I am progressing on chapters. Come find me at [thearrowfanfiction.tumblr.com](http://thearrowfanfiction.tumblr.com/)!
> 
>  **Notes** : One of the most famous tropes of InuYasha fan fiction (it’s legendary and it’s been around since at least 2001?) is that there are so many stories in which the whole gang survives until the modern day era somehow. After thinking about it for a while, I’ve decided that this is not one of those stories.  
> Which means that while I’m going to be keeping a very strong focus on Kagome, the Higurashi family, and her three friends Eri, Ayumi, and Yuka, there’s also going to be some original characters taking some space in this story to fulfill roles and keep the plot moving. I’m warning you now, because original characters do bother some readers. (Should I be tagging for this? What are even tags? Whaaa— )  
> I have several possible outcomes for this fanfiction, and I have some time before I need to settle on one or the other, but I do want to write here that it is absolutely possible that I will diverge from how the canon reunion with InuYasha and the past takes place. I do want to bring InuYasha (and possibly the others) back into play eventually—and possibly not until the last few chapters—but this fan fiction was written to focus on Kagome coping with her powers and her life without him (you know who) and the gang, at least for a while.  
> I must admit, I feel a bit self-conscious about how short the chapters are, but I feel like it’s much easier for me to commit to short chapters than to commit to writing really long chapters. And, perhaps much more importantly, it also allows me to do much more quality control, especially as I don’t have an editor or beta reader—it’s much easier for me to review short chapters! As such, because I don’t have any editors or people proof-reading before publishing my chapters, I do really appreciate constructive criticism—as such I would like to make a special shout out to Kirin for their careful and thoughtful notes on my writing so far!  
> Oh dear, that was a long note. Happy reading!


	6. A Shitty Case of Mondays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kagome reckons with her own guilt and emotional scars as she interrupts something evil going on in her high school, hurting one of her oldest friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Content warning specific to this chapter: possibly triggering mentions and descriptions of sexual harassment and intimidation are in this chapter.**

The coming Monday passed by uneventfully, at least until just before Kagome’s last period of the day. Though she’d spent the day alternating between her usual numb state, and worrying sick about her grandfather, by the time that bell rang and signalled to the students and teachers that they had minutes to get where they needed to be for their last class of the day, Kagome felt a kind of relief wash over her. While the rest of her homeroom was scrambling to the school’s outdoors running track for gym class, she was thankful for the fact that her spot on the archery team officially excluded her from generic physical education classes for the rest of the semester. She was at liberty to take her time, walking down the stairs towards her locker so that she could pick up a few books she needed for homework. She had archery practice that very evening, but now was as good a time as any to get through the pages of work the teachers were keen to pile up high.

And there was always something a little sweet about the end of a school day, especially a Monday. It felt like an accomplishment, and Kagome held the feeling close. 

She was about to turn the corner of the corridor of their grade’s lockers, when she heard the echoes of familiar voices ringing down the hall. She could not make out what the voices were saying, though instinct caused the hairs at the back of her neck to rise with gooseflesh. Rounding the corner, she saw a tall male student wearing a navy blue backpack practically hunched over a smaller female student, who was backed up against the lockers. The corridor was empty, save for them. Both his arms were pinning her against the wall. Kagome grimaced, not wanting to intrude on what was _clearly_ not for public eyes. She was  already turning around, ready to leave without the books she’d come for, when she realised that the girl being pinned against the lockers was Ayumi. The realisation froze her on the spot, though she was far enough from the pair that her presence had gone completely unnoticed so far. 

“Come on, Ayumi,” Kagome heard the boy say, “Just tell me why have you been avoiding me?”

Kagome’s vision swam blood red. Instinct roared under her breast, the pounding of her own furious heartbeat audible in her ears, thrumming against her neck. She recognised the male student as one of the boys in their homeroom. Hadn’t Eri or Yuka mentioned his name?

“Saito,” Ayumi spoke, clutching her school books to her chest, “I don’t want to be late for class.”

Kagome unclenched her jaw and lowered her shoulders consciously, the same way she’d done it countless times while mentally preparing herself before battle. If she had to shove this boy Saito off Ayumi to get her away from this jackass, Kagome would not hesitate for a second. She approached Saito and Ayumi steadily, putting purposeful weight in each one of her steps. When she was less than a metre from him, she cleared her throat loudly, unmistakably announcing her presence.

“Kagome!” Ayumi’s eyes shone with relief when she saw her friend approach, but her brow remained furrowed with worry. Saito immediately pushed off the lockers and gave Ayumi back some breathing room, all the while shooting Kagome a withering glare.

“Higurashi,” was what Saito said, but he might as well have spat at Kagome’s feet. Her hands balled into fists.

“Ayumi,” Kagome spoke, her voice steel. The flimsiest coherent thought flitted across her mind then: Sango would be proud of her composure. “Let’s get out of here.”

Ayumi looked startled but nodded, and Kagome walked between her friend and Saito, placing her hand on Ayumi’s lower back before leading her down the hall. Just before they left the corridor of lockers, she spared a glance over her shoulder back at Saito, who was just staring at them, unmoving from his spot in the middle of the corridor. Kagome purposefully glared at him, wishing that her spiritual powers gave her the ability to set him on fire with just her eyes. But that fury lingered for the shortest of moments, before Kagome turned her head back forward haughtily as she led Ayumi through a set of doors. Kagome considered going up to their homeroom but Ayumi, from the fact that she was wearing their gym uniform, was supposed to be in gym class right now, and she didn’t want to get Ayumi in trouble with whoever was up there supervising the students with a free period.

Not wanting to go upstairs, but not wanting to go back towards the lockers, Kagome checked a different, unfamiliar door, but which she knew from the exit sign above it would eventually lead them outside. The door was unlocked, and opened easily, to another corridor, and eventually the real exit just beyond.

“This way, Ayumi. Let’s get some air.” Kagome was no longer leading Ayumi by the small of her back, having decided to back off the moment they’d left Saito’s sight.

Ayumi just nodded, following without protesting or making a sound.

Outside, they were in the courtyard that ran all along the front of the high school, near the street. There were a few small, young trees and bushes, and a few benches. Kagome looked up at the windows of the building. It was likely they would be seen, but Kagome didn’t really care at the moment.

Ayumi seemed to come back alive in the fresh air. She heaved and grabbed her own stomach, still balancing her books in her arms, and leaned heavily against the metal fence that sectioned off the school grounds from the sidewalk.

As gently as she could, Kagome asked: “Are you okay? Did he …?” She didn’t know how to word the question. She wasn’t sure what the question should be in the first place, and she was terrified of the answer. A lot of the bravery she’d just displayed inside by their lockers was draining from her, and in its place she felt uncertainty and nausea and a familiar echo, a tangible ripple of fear that shuddered down her back — but she had to focus on Amy, so Kagome rallied.

Ayumi just shook her head, however, and Kagome could not help the relief she felt. “No, he’s just…” Ayumi started before running out of breath and inhaling deeply. When she spoke again, her voice was much firmer: “No. I’m fine. Thank you, Kagome.” 

Kagome remained silent, even pensive.

Even though she was just sixteen and starting high school, Kagome had been exposed to all sorts of things in the past year which she could _never_ reveal to her mother or grandfather. In the process, s he’d missed out on the last year of her friends’ lives — that in particular ate at her, too. And, well. She recognised the brave face Ayumi wore. She’d relied on that same tactic since they’d first met in elementary school.

“Ayumi,” Kagome began saying, “I’ve been a bad friend this past year.”

“What? No, that’s not true at all,” Ayumi looked genuinely surprised by the confession, and Kagome found herself grateful for the reassurance, even if she felt she really didn’t deserve it.

“I’ve been so… isolated. I haven’t confided in you. And I haven’t really been checking in with what’s up with you either. Not just you, I’ve also been distant from Eri and Yuka. But I want to be better. I miss you guys.” 

“Kagome.” Ayumi said, speaking with more conviction this time, “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about. And we all know it wasn’t your fault. You were dealing with a lot, last year.”

“I know, I know.” Kagome relented, feeling even more guilty. “I want this year to be better. You can tell me anything. I will be here for you.”

Ayumi smiled, tucking her books under one arm, and using her other freed hand to grab Kagome’s. “You’re here for me now.”

Kagome squeezed her friend’s hand. She was still worried about Ayumi, who was probably the gentlest of her three best friends. The idea that a jerk was trying to get fresh with her—and the knowledge that Ayumi hadn’t fought back, possibly because of propriety—bothered Kagome.

“You know, if a man or a boy ever does what that jackass was doing to you, you should push him away from you and get out of there, don’t worry about being polite to him.” Kagome said in a matter of fact tone.

Ayumi blushed. “Kagome! It’s not like you to use harsh language like that.”

“Saito was a complete asshole,” Kagome practically growled, “I wish…”

Kagome looked down at her hands, the one holding Ayumi’s and her other free one which hung besides her, and which was still balled into a fist. She wished _what_ , exactly? That Saito was a youkai she could purify, with one of her sacred arrows? A monster to be exterminated once and for all? Not that she herself was much of an exterminator without Sango or InuYasha or even Miroku around. Kagome tried to shake her anger free. Saito was, as far as she knew, a human teenager. Even if his behaviour was beyond the pale.

_I wonder if I’ve become too accustomed to using violence as the solution to all my problems._

Ayumi’s hand was shaking a little in Kagome’s before she spoke with resignation clear in her voice. “I’m just grateful you were there. Saito really cares about appearances.”

It was like someone had just poured a bucket of ice water down Kagome’s back.

“This wasn’t the first time. Saito’s been bothering you for a while.” It wasn’t a statement.

“Yeah,” Ayumi admitted. She looked uncomfortable, subtly swaying from foot to foot. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I… I honestly didn’t think it would go this far. He was always forward, but…” Ayumi stopped, shutting her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, she released Kagome’s hand, too, and leaned back, avoiding Kagome’s gaze. “I wasn’t interested in him. I thought he would get bored after a while.”

Kagome felt sick, but spoke up: “Eri and Yuka kept mentioning him. That second week? When I finally arrived in school, I remember I saw him passing you a note. I can’t believe I was teasing you about him.”

“It’s not your fault,” Ayumi was quick to reassure her, “I just…”

“You just what?” Kagome encouraged after a brief silence. Ayumi kept staring at the cement ground beneath them.

“I’m not really interested in boys, I guess? Eri and Yuka just won’t let that go, and I think I felt guilty for not… Like I was letting you all down.”

“Saito’s a creep! He deserves nothing from you,” Kagome promised with vehemence. Ayumi kept her gaze fixed on the floor. “Nobody should ever make you feel like you have to like someone! That you have to…do anything with someone.”

Kagome wished for a moment that Sango were here, and imagined with fond regret the hypothetical terror they would unleash on boys like Saito.

“Kagome,” Ayumi spoke again.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t tell Eri and Yuka about this.”

Kagome’s eyebrows shot up in shock.

“Are you sure?”

“Yuka especially.”

Kagome was surprised, and that surprise made her thoughts take a dark turn. She’d always seen the four of them—Ayumi, Eri, Yuka, her—as a kind of unbreakable unit, that their friendship had foundations strong enough to withstand the strongest of earthquakes. Of course, that was before she’d discovered she had spiritual powers, the ability to time travel via an enchanted (and now broken) well, and had been responsible for one of the most powerful demonic artefacts in all of Japan. Before last year, she’d never thought she could ever lie to her three friends the way she had. She was _still_ lying  now, every time she couldn’t tell her friends the truth about what had happened. 

The truth about her and InuYasha.

She missed the battle-forged friendships she’d had in the Sengoku Jidai. She’d been open with them, and had shared so much and had felt so protected. But Kagome still loved her three friends here in modern Tokyo. And, she considered bitterly, today was the first time she’d even realised all was not well amongst the four of them. Would she have noticed the signs before, if she hadn’t been so wrapped up in herself and in the past?

Kagome could feel guilt creeping upon her, but she was still certain of one thing. Without hesitation, she wrapped her arms around Ayumi and squeezed hard, pulling her friend close.

“I don’t ever want anything to happen to you, Ayumi.”

“Kagome,” Ayumi said, her voice thick, “Everything’s fine. Nothing serious happened.”

“I wish I could slap Saito for what he’s been doing.”

“Please don’t. None of this is not worth you getting in trouble over this. You’ve got to keep your head down and focus on school, remember?” Ayumi chided, but her voice was extra gentle. The girls stopped hugging after a minute or so. Kagome found the hug had helped her dark mood slightly, though she still felt righteous, and protective.

“I guess I’ll just have to pretend it’s Saito’s face that I’m hitting in target practice today,” Kagome grumbled.

As if on cue, the school bell announcing the end of last period rang. They heard it clearly, even from outside the school next to the street. Very soon the courtyard would flood with students, and the street would fill with cars and buses, and Kagome and Ayumi’s private moment would end.

“You have to get to archery practice,” Ayumi reminded Kagome, who was looking at her watch, more than a little reluctant to go and leave her. 

“Will you be okay?” Kagome asked, frowning. 

“Absolutely. I’ll be fine! I’m going to wait for my bus here and go home.” 

Kagome couldn’t help but ask: “He won’t…do anything if there are other students out here, right?”

Ayumi nodded. The two waited, still a little tense, until the school doors to burst open like a broken dam, students spilling into the courtyard, noisy and animated and oblivious.

Without another word, Kagome and Ayumi parted, one back towards the school, the other towards where a line was already forming at the bus stop. But just before Kagome exited the courtyard, she turned around to exchange a last glance and a nod, which Ayumi returned with a real, if brittle smile. From now on, Kagome swore to herself, they would rely on each other. She would be here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Update Nov 16, 2017**  
>  Hey folks. This fanfiction is not dead, despite my best efforts. I'm going to try to stick to a sort of update schedule, hopefully managing an update a month from here on out. We'll see. I deal with a lot of mental health issues on top of having money and work issues, but I really love this fanfic and want to see it finished.  
> I still want to finish this story. I have so many cool ideas, and Kagome remains one of my favourite characters. And the Kagome in this story gives me hope, sometimes.  
> Much love and affection to you for reading and sticking with this story. Please feel free to leave constructive criticism in the reviews. They have such an incredible effect on my mental health. I reread them whenever I feel shitty about my writing (which is...always.)
> 
> Feel free to follow me on tumblr at <http://thearrowfanfiction.tumblr.com/>.


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